A statement like ‘’Why are you like this or like that’’ and ‘’You will never change’’. Most time is directed from the angle of one who is ‘’offended’’. It may even stem from a joke deeply rooted in one’s disdain for another’s behavior.  Thinking of behavior, how does it link to one’s identity?  The idea of not defending our identity might seem unreasonable in a world that often pressures us to define ourselves concretely. After all, our identities are deeply intertwined with our sense of self, beliefs, and place in society. If you are born a male, in some village, to a particular tribe into a certain religion; by definition that could be your identity. Other sources add a sense of feeling. Identity is facts about a person yet it goes further to what the person thinks of who they are, where they come from, their spiritual sense of understanding and what they represent. I think it’s more honorable to ask a person, ‘What principles or values do you represent?’ than say why are you like that? … well the latter is usually to poke you hard in your sense of reasoning, not to honor you.

Since time immemorial, we’ve been taught to categorize ourselves and others based on labels like ethnicity, gender, and religion. While these labels can foster a sense of belonging, they can also be limiting when we feel pressured to conform to societal expectations. By refusing to defend our identity, we open ourselves up to the possibility of surpassing these labels and exploring the full dimension of our human experience and spiritual understanding. For me, this journey of self-discovery has been deeply rooted in my being a student of human nature, drawing insights from sources like the Bible and other literature. Through brooding and engaging with others, I’ve realized that understanding my own identity is key to understanding the world around me. Recently, I embarked on a unique self-assessment journey, soliciting honest feedback from 30 individuals I’ve encountered and interrelated with. Their candid responses illuminated both positive and negative aspects of myself, revealing truths that resonated deeply with my self-perception. Interestingly, what some viewed as negative traits, others perceived as positive attributes, highlighting the complexity of human nature. Armed with this self-awareness, I’ve learned to complement my weaknesses with strengths, fostering personal growth and resilience. This journey has taught me that truly knowing oneself is a continual process—one that empowers us to authentically engage with others and navigate the complexities of human relationships. By understanding our temperament, experiences, and vulnerabilities, we gain invaluable insight into the nature of others, enabling us to cultivate meaningful connections and discern the company we keep. In essence, embracing our identity not only enriches our understanding of ourselves but also enhances our ability to empathize with and relate to those around us. It’s through this deeply personal exploration that we unlock the wisdom to navigate life’s journey with authenticity, purpose, and compassion.