Proverbs 17:28 (NIV): “Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.” This verse highlights the wisdom of sometimes remaining silent and observing, rather than speaking impulsively or trying to impress others with our knowledge.
Growing up, my mother imparted countless nuggets of wisdom that have guided me through life’s ups and downs. Yet, one particular piece of advice has always stood out among the rest, even if it seemed unconventional at first glance: “When you go to stay with people, act like a fool.” After my senior High School, I had to visit my uncle, my mother’s brother. The night before my journey, she sat me down and spoke to me. At first, this advice may seem puzzling or even counterintuitive. After all, isn’t it more prudent to present oneself with grace and poise when visiting others? However, as I’ve come to understand over the years, my mother’s wisdom runs deeper than mere surface appearances.
Her advice is not about behaving foolishly in the traditional sense. Instead, it’s about embodying humility, openness, and a willingness to learn from others. Here’s what I’ve gleaned from her timeless wisdom:
1. Humility Opens Doors: When we approach new situations with humility and a willingness to set aside our preconceived notions, we create space for genuine connections to form. Acting “like a fool” means being unafraid to ask questions, admit ignorance, and embrace the vulnerability that comes with stepping outside our comfort zones.
2. Embracing Authenticity: By allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and authentic, we invite others to do the same. Acting “like a fool” can be liberating because it frees us from the pressure to uphold a facade of perfection. Instead, we can show up as our true selves, flaws and all, fostering deeper and more meaningful relationships in the process.
3. Cultivating Empathy: When we approach others with a spirit of humility and openness, we cultivate empathy and understanding. By temporarily relinquishing our need to appear knowledgeable or polished, we create space for empathy to flourish, allowing us to see the world through the eyes of others and forge genuine connections based on mutual respect and understanding.
4. Fostering Favor: When you approach people, especially when they are not familiar with you, with a sense of ‘foolishness,’ it often leads them to disregard or overlook you. Paradoxically, this can create an opportunity for you to learn about everyone in your environment more quickly. Following this advice, when I visited my uncle’s family, I remained poised and observant, going with the flow. Little did I know, I was gradually winning the affection of almost everyone in the household. My uncle preferred me to iron his clothes over his own sons, his wife preferred me to stir the ‘tz’ over anyone else, and even the youngest member of the family preferred me to take her to the park for a run. The list could go on.
At one point, my mother asked me what I did to gain favor with her own brother, who everyone found challenging to be with.
5. Embracing the Joy of Learning: Finally, my mother’s advice reminds me of the joy that comes from embracing a lifelong journey of learning and growth. Acting “like a fool” means approaching every experience with a sense of wonder and curiosity, eager to glean wisdom from the people we meet and the situations we encounter along the way.
Matthew 10:16 (NIV): “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore, be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.” Jesus’s instruction to his disciples underscores the importance of approaching others with both wisdom and innocence, embodying a balance of discernment and humility.
In essence, my mother’s advice to “act like a fool” is a reminder to approach life with humility, authenticity, and a willingness to learn. It’s about embracing vulnerability, cultivating empathy, and finding joy in the journey of self-discovery and connection with others. As I navigate life’s twists and turns, I carry my mother’s wisdom with me as a guiding light, reminding me to embrace the beauty of imperfection, the power of vulnerability, and the transformative potential of approaching each day with an open heart and mind. After all, sometimes it’s in acting like a fool that we discover the truest wisdom of all.
